BREAKING THE MOLD

SEX

5 min Read

Let’s talk about “normal.” Specifically, what it even means when we’re talking about sex. There’s a lot of pressure to get it right—whether it’s how often you’re supposed to have it, what positions you should be in, or what kinds of pleasures are “acceptable.” We’ve been handed this idea of what sex is supposed to look like, and, spoiler alert, it’s usually a little off.

But what if we stopped thinking about what’s “normal” and started focusing on what feels good? No rules. No expectations. Just the freedom to explore, experiment, and, most importantly, enjoy.

What Even is “Normal” Anyway?

“Normal” is a word we throw around a lot, but when it comes to sex, it’s more of a social construct than anything else. Think about it: where did we all get these ideas of how sex “should” happen? The bad Rom-Com movies? The endless stream of “relationship advice” that’s supposed to solve all your bedroom problems?

Truth is, no two people experience intimacy the same way. And the more we try to chase after some ideal version of it, the more we miss out on what actually feels good for us. So why not forget about the pressure and focus on what works for you? What makes you feel good, what makes you feel connected, and what makes you feel... alive.

It’s About Freedom, Not Perfection

Here’s the thing: there’s no perfect formula when it comes to sex. No checklist of things you’re supposed to do, no timeline of when things are “supposed” to happen. It’s not about whether you’ve tried this position or that toy—it’s about how you feel in the moment. It’s about freedom.

If you want to try something new or explore a different side of your intimacy, go for it. Not because it’s what everyone else is doing, but because it’s something that excites you or makes you feel closer to your partner (or yourself). You don’t need to check in with anyone else to know what feels right.

Let Your Fantasies Live

We all have fantasies. And let’s be real—they’re usually way more creative than what we think we’re “supposed” to be into. But here’s the thing: fantasies are for you. They don’t need to be talked about with anyone unless you want to share them, but don’t let that stop you from exploring them in your own mind, and, you know... beyond.

It’s easy to dismiss fantasies because they feel “out there” or not mainstream enough, but that’s what makes them so interesting. I mean honestly nobody talked about enjoying 50 shades of grey type of sex until 50 shades of grey became mainstream.

If you’re not exploring what excites you in your head, you’re missing out on one of the best parts of intimacy—getting to know what you really want. And trust me, when you lean into that, it can unlock all sorts of new experiences.

Your Body’s the Star—So Own That Shit

Another thing we all know too well: body image issues, and how they can affect our sex lives. We’ve all been there, stuck on the thought that our bodies need to look a certain way for us to feel sexy or “normal.” But the truth is, it’s not about what your body looks like, it’s about how you feel in it. That’s what makes you magnetic.

And again, let’s be real—when you stop focusing on how you look in the moment and instead focus on how you feel in the moment, everything changes. You start to own your energy, your confidence, and the way you connect with someone (or even just with yourself). There’s nothing sexier than someone who feels comfortable in their own skin, no matter what it looks like.

The Power of Connection

At the end of the day, intimacy isn’t about fitting into some ideal. It’s about connection—whether that’s with a partner, yourself, or both. When you let go of the pressure to perform or fit into someone else’s version of “normal,” you open up a whole new world of possibilities.

That’s where the real fun begins. Forget trying to be perfect or checking boxes. The real intimacy comes from being present, being open, and letting go of the idea that it’s about anything other than the moment you’re in. It’s the little moments of laughter, touch, and vulnerability that make things exciting.

So, What’s Your “Normal”?

Here’s the bottom line: there’s no right way to be intimate, and the idea of what’s “normal” changes for everyone. So why not stop trying to fit into someone else’s idea of what it’s supposed to be, and create your own?

It’s all about what makes you feel good, connected, and free. Whether that’s trying something new, embracing a side of yourself you’ve kept hidden, or simply being present and enjoying the moment. When you stop worrying about what’s “normal,” you start enjoying intimacy for what it is: real, raw, and entirely yours.